TrieBios Baby & Mama

If I could sit down for coffee with my younger self, I imagine it would go something like this. She would arrive right on time, maybe even a few minutes early, but she’d look rushed—like she was always chasing something just out of reach. Her eyes would be bright, full of dreams and certainty, yet behind them, there’d be an unspoken fear of the unknown. She’d carry herself with confidence, but I’d notice the subtle tension in her shoulders, the way she clung to the idea that she had to figure everything out as quickly as possible. She’d be eager to hear what I had to say, but also a little skeptical—after all, she thinks she knows exactly where life is headed.

I’d smile, sip my coffee, and lean in. “You’re going to be a mom one day,” I’d tell her.

She’d freeze, cup halfway to her lips, and stare at me. “Me? A mom?”

I’d nod, watching as a thousand thoughts raced through her mind. She wouldn’t know yet how much that role would change her, how it would challenge her in ways she never expected, but also fill her life with a love deeper than she could ever imagine. And so, I’d take a deep breath and tell her all the things I wish she knew sooner.

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Learn to Take Care of Yourself.

I know you’re always putting others first, always pushing yourself to meet expectations, always trying to be “strong.” But taking care of yourself isn’t selfish—it’s necessary. Your body, your mind, and your heart need rest, nourishment, and kindness, just like anyone else. Learn to listen to your needs, whether that means setting boundaries, getting enough sleep, or simply allowing yourself to pause.

One day, you’ll become a mother, and suddenly, your world will shift. Your days will be filled with caring for someone so tiny yet so dependent on you. You’ll feel the weight of responsibility like never before. But here’s what you need to know—your child doesn’t just need a mother who gives; they need a mother who is whole. When you neglect yourself, it slowly catches up with you—exhaustion, frustration, burnout. I’ve learned that when I take care of myself, I have more patience, more love, and more joy to give. My child doesn’t just learn from what I say but from how I live.

Learn discipline, even in the small things.

I know you love going with the flow, but discipline isn’t about restrictions—it’s about creating freedom for yourself in the long run. The little habits you build now will shape the grit you need later. Whether it’s in work, in health, or in motherhood, discipline will carry you through when motivation fades.

And trust me, when you’re running on three hours of sleep with a crying baby, discipline is what will keep you steady. You’ll have days when exhaustion threatens to consume you, when you don’t feel like doing one more thing. But the habits you build now will carry you through. Your child will watch you, and they will learn—not from what you say, but from what you do.

Be flexible—do your best and let go of the rest.

You love control, I know. You want everything to go according to plan. But life doesn’t work that way. You will do your best, and sometimes things still won’t turn out how you expected. That’s not failure—it’s life. Learn to release what you can’t control and trust the process.

Motherhood will be your greatest teacher in this. You’ll plan the perfect nap schedule, the healthiest meals, the best routines, only to have your child rewrite the rules in an instant. You’ll realize that letting go isn’t about giving up—it’s about adapting, about making space for the unexpected joys that come when you stop clinging to what “should” be.

Stay authentic—know your value.

You spend too much time wondering if you’re “too much” or “not enough.” Stop that. The right people will see your worth, but more importantly, you need to see your worth. Learn what makes you you and don’t shrink yourself to fit someone else’s expectations. Know your values, your passions, and your worth, and stand firm in them.

Motherhood will test this in ways you never saw coming. You’ll be bombarded with opinions—on how to parent, how to balance life, how to “do it all.” But the best thing you can give your child is a mother who is true to herself. By staying authentic, you teach them to do the same.

You Are Not Perfect, But You Are Enough.

You are going to make mistakes. You are going to fail. But none of that defines you. Progress, not perfection—that’s what will keep you going. One day, your child will watch you try, stumble, and try again. And that will teach them more than perfection ever could. So dare to take action. Dare to get it wrong. Just keep moving forward.

As a mom, you’ll feel the weight of responsibility, the fear of not being “good enough.” But let me tell you this—your love, your presence, your efforts, even when they’re messy and imperfect, are more than enough. Your child doesn’t need a flawless mother. They need a real one.

Always remember, life is impermanent.

One day, the people you love will no longer be here. You don’t think about that much now, but one day, it will hit you. It’s a hard truth, but an important one. Don’t take time for granted. Hug your parents a little longer, tell your loved ones how much they mean to you, and cherish the simple moments.

Motherhood will make you feel this truth even more deeply. Watching your child grow, realizing how quickly time passes, will remind you that every moment is precious. Don’t be so caught up in “what’s next” that you miss what’s happening right now.

Don’t blame others—they’re doing the best they can.

People are doing the best they can with what they know. Your parents, your friends, your colleagues—they all have their struggles, their blind spots, their own battles. Instead of holding resentment, try to understand.

Motherhood will deepen your compassion. You’ll see your parents in a new light, understanding the choices they made, the struggles they faced. You’ll learn that grace and forgiveness bring more peace than blame ever could.

Open your heart — others need love just as much as you do.

You get caught up in your own worries, your own insecurities, but have you ever stopped to think that everyone around you is feeling the same way? People want to be seen. They want to be understood. They want to feel loved. So be that person. The one who listens, the one who cares, the one who makes others feel safe. It will come back to you in ways you can’t imagine.

Motherhood will soften you in ways you never imagined. The love you feel for your child will expand your heart, teaching you to love others more deeply. It will remind you that we’re all just doing our best.

Practice Compassion Instead of Judgment.

It’s easy to look at people and think, “I’d never do that.” But life has a funny way of humbling you. The more you truly understand someone’s story, the more you realize how much pain they carry. So be kind. Be patient. You never know what someone is battling inside.

One day, when you’re the exhausted mom in the grocery store with a screaming toddler, you’ll hope that someone chooses to show you grace instead of judgment. You’ll learn that every parent is just trying to figure it out, just like you. And that kindness, not criticism, makes the journey easier for everyone.

Don’t Give Up—Keep Going.

You think that by a certain age, you’ll have it all figured out. You won’t. And that’s okay. I’m sitting here now, older than you, and I’m still figuring it out. But here’s what I know—we will get there. Not by having all the answers, but by showing up every day, doing our best, and dedicating ourselves wholeheartedly to what matters.

You have high standards, big dreams, and a deep desire to achieve. That’s a beautiful thing. But the road won’t always be smooth. There will be doubts, setbacks, moments of exhaustion. Keep going anyway.

Motherhood will be one of your hardest, yet most rewarding journeys. There will be days when you feel like you’re failing, when you wonder if you’re doing enough. But I promise you—every effort, every sacrifice, every moment of love matters. You’re not failing. You’re growing, learning, becoming. And that’s enough.

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She sits back, quiet for a moment, letting my words settle in. I see the flicker of realization in her eyes—the understanding that life is so much bigger than the worries she carries now.

She smiles, a little softer this time. “I hope I turn out okay.”

I reach for my coffee, taking a slow sip before answering. “You will. In fact, you turn out to be someone you’d be really proud of.”

She doesn’t know it yet, but one day, she’ll hold her child in her arms, and in that moment, she’ll understand. Every lesson, every hardship, every moment of self-doubt—it all leads her here. To love. To resilience. To becoming.

And that? That is more than okay.